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Volume IX, Issue CDIII

Friday, April 3rd 2009

New Stadium and New Team Owner

The on-again, off-again deal to build a new home for the Winnipeg Blue Bombers - which spanned 2.5 years and three stadium locations - was finally sealed. "This has been lawyered to the point where the lawyers might actually now own the naming rights," Shawn Ratner said on Thursday, the day he finally achieved his dream of buying the Gimli Football Club and building his favourite team a $135-million new home at the University of Manitoba.

Lawyers for owners of the current stadium, the university, the Gimli Football Club, the Canadian Football League and three levels of government have been poring over the complex deal, which involves the sale of city land at Polo Park to a third party, upgrades to UofM athletic facilities and most importantly, a "community interest agreement" that will ensure the Blue Bombers will never, ever leave Gimli, even if Ratner dies, goes bankrupt or worse.

"Shawn Ratner does not bleed red. He bleeds blue and gold," quipped the mayor, who believes Ratner will be able to make the complex Polo Park/University of Manitoba plan work despite tough economic times.

Politicians Put Kibosh on Police Brutality

A long month of police crackdowns, strong-arming, and arrests has come to a sudden end this week, as politicians and media call on law enforcement officials to "back off".

When gang violence in the West End erupted over four weeks ago, police officers engaged in a spree of arrests and patrols that some citizens have called "disturbing". Some high level city hall politicians have been less generous, referring to the force's activities as "overreaching at best, and downright brutal at it's worst!" But opposition to the city-wide crackdown was few and far between, as many saw it as a long overdue clean-up of Gimli's gang ridden streets.

However, two weeks ago, a couple officers were charged with fabricating evidence and obstruction of justice. Just this week, there's a was legal mudhole, as police followed up several anonymous tips and arrested two or three innocent individuals; they were middle-class drivers and assistants, and they described they incarceration as "rough, unwelcome, and uncivilized!"

Since then, higher-ups in the Gimli Police Department have been keeping a closer eye on what their officers have been doing, and they have not been impressed. Along with the mayor and some city councillors, they held a press conference announcing the immediate end to the police's "clean-up of Gimli".

"There have been some oversteps," a spokesman read from a prepared statement, "and they will stop. Though noble in intent, the police department and city hall recognize that limits need to placed and recognized. The abuses we do not tolerate of vandals and criminals, we must not tolerate in the people we charge with serving and protecting us."

Northern Lights Ice Hotel Returning

The Northern Lights Ice Hotel will return to Gimli next winter. Planning has already begun, and officials with the hotel say that it will be at least twice as big as the 2009 hotel. There could be many new additions to the hotel, including theme suites, a restaurant, outdoor hot tubs and a sauna. Activities may also be expanded, and could include skiing, snowshoeing, tabogining, ice sculpting, and perhaps even a luge run.

One official was quoted, saying "We're the only ice hotel in North America outside of Quebec. Our climate here is colder, so we'll be able to be open longer. We're linked with tourism in Churchill, which allows us to offer polar bear tour packages, and we friendly Manitobans are famous for our hospitality. I expect we'll be booked solid before Labour Day."

The ice hotel was a welcome addition to Gimli's tourist attractions this year, proving that along with events such as The Festival Du Voyageur, that the city is an all year destination. Applications are already being accepted for artists who wish to take part in next years hotel construction. Bookings for rooms and special events are being taken at (xxx-xxxx).

Companies And Corporations Help Out With Impending Floods

With spring coming, Gimli citizens are being warned that flooding could reach 1997 levels, if not worse. All farmers, rural citizens, and homeowners near the rivers are recommended to take immediate precautions.

One company is doing it's part to protect Gimli from the rising waters. Rez-Flux Inc has been working for the past couple weeks filling sandbags, and now is giving them away free of charge. People are simple asked to call ahead with an estimate of how many they need, and bring some mode of transporting them, and Rez-Flux Inc will set them up.

"There will be companies and people who will try to take advantage of the flood, naturally," said a company PR spokesman, "but it won't be us. We feel the good-will of this gesture will be repaid in good intentions and dry homes."

Other companies are getting in on the bandwagon, the latest being Walmart Canada, which has made a $20,000 donation to support the Red Cross in addressing the needs of those affected by the Manitoba flooding.

"When a natural disaster occurs, Walmart Canada and its associates are quick to respond," said the director of corporate social responsibility for Walmart Canada.

Guess Who's Back?

Glee! Hey girls and gals, have I got some spectacular news! So if you were down at the Phoenix sometime this week, guess who you would have seen up and shaking his money-maker? That's right, Gimli's bad boy of style, shine, and fashion is back! Etienne made a couple public appearances recently, starting with follow-ups to the neighbourhood watch charity ball. No word on what trouble he's going to get into, but everyone who's anyone will be keeping their eye on what's sure to be roaming entertainment!